Thoughts In Quarantine

As I sit on my couch for yet another hour of silence in my ears, a book in my hands, and a cup of coffee by my side, I’ve nearly forgotten what the pre-quarantine me looks like. It’s been over a month of very limited social interaction and sheltering at home; which is a type 7 extrovert’s worst nightmare. I’ve had my fair share of bitter moments and frustrating pleas with God. I’ve tried to negotiate and justify going around some of the laws to get my itch in with friends. But after and through all of that fighting, I found myself submitting to the plan God has. He is sovereign and He allows trial after trial to take place. Not for suffering’s sake, but because it brings Him glory and it is for our good. I don’t know why, but His ways are higher than mine. All I know is I trust Him because He’s never let me down before. It’s not a blind trust; it’s a confidence in His character and track record. 

So what has my life looked like? Well, given the nature of my job (Director of Social Media), I’ve actually had more on my plate than before. The Enemy is sneaky and tends to make you resent and become bitter toward things you actually don’t want to resent and be bitter to. However, I’ve been able to reconcile some of those feelings and am grateful that I still have a job and can work. I remembered the grass isn’t greener on the other side, and plenty of people wish they were able to work. So I’m grateful for the space I’m in, as should all of you be in the space you’re in; God might be trying to teach you something in it. 

Through it all, rest has been major for me. I’m trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule. Even though it’s hard and so easy to neglect it, it’s important to me that I try. I try not feeling guilty when I sleep in later than I’d like or not be as productive as I hoped. Same thing goes for working out. There’s little accountability; but being disciplined is everything right now. Which is funny because that was the word I chose to hold onto for 2020: DISCIPLINE.

All in all, I’m happy with where I’m at. Of course I wish things were different. Of course I wish I could be more productive. Of course I wish I was able to go out to eat at a restaurant or visit a coffee shop. But that’s not the life we’re in. So I intend to not grow bitter; but to be better. I’m reading a lot more; the Bible included. I’m praying more. I’m working out more. I’m drinking coffee more. I’m working more... So the paradox is that – with the right perspective – even with less, you can be doing more.

There is a Scripture that comes to mind: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4) By the way, I wrote another blog on that.

Anyway, that is my status. Wherever you are, I want you to know that there is hope. The weird tension you’re feeling might be grief. Acknowledge it and begin to take steps to accept it. You’ve experienced loss from COVID-19, you’ve experienced trauma, you’ve experienced tension. That is all true; but so is the truth that God is strong and able and in control. You are loved.