I STAND IN THE SHADOWS OF BRILLIANT MEN SUCH AS A.W. TOZER, A CHICAGO BORN THEOLOGIAN, WHEN I PRAY HIS PRAYER: “O GOD, I HAVE TASTED THY GOODNESS, AND IT HAS BOTH SATISFIED ME AND MADE ME THIRSTY FOR MORE. I AM PAINFULLY CONSCIOUS OF MY NEED OF FURTHER GRACE. I AM ASHAMED OF MY LACK OF DESIRE. O GOD, THE TRIUNE GOD, I WANT TO WANT THEE; I LONG TO BE FILLED WITH LONGING; I THIRST TO BE MADE MORE THIRSTY STILL. SHOW ME THY GLORY, I PRAY THEE, THAT SO I MAY KNOW THEE INDEED” (TOZER 1948). I AM IN AWE OF YOUR GLORIOUS GRACE. LORD, I BEG YOU TO STIR IN ME A THIRST SO UNQUENCHABLE THAT I AM FORCED TO COME BACK TO YOU. YOU ALONE ARE WORTHY AND SUFFICIENT TO EVERY NEED I ACQUIRE. HOW WONDERFUL AND HOLY IS YOUR BEAUTIFUL NAME.
ALAS, I MUST ADMIT THAT I AM NOWHERE NEAR WORTHY OF EVEN SPEAKING YOUR NAME. WHEN THE THOUGHT OF A GOD WHO CONTAINS SUCH VAST AND SCANDALOUS LOVE DRAWS NEAR TO MY MIND, I AM ASHAMED OF THE INNUMERABLE SINS I’VE COMMITTED TOWARD YOU. MY HEART DESIRES FAME YET I KNOW I MUST PUSH IT DOWN. I AM AWARE THAT I MUST DENY MYSELF AND LIFT YOUR NAME HIGH, YET IT IS SO DIFFICULT. I ADMIT THAT THIS IS MY DEEPEST, MOST TREACHEROUS STRUGGLE -- PRIDE.
I PRAY, FATHER, THAT YOU CONTINUE TO PRESS ME DOWN AND CONVICT ME TO LIFT YOU UP. I AM NOTHING WITHOUT YOU AND I AM WHOLLY AWARE, HOWEVER, THE SCREAMS OF THE ENEMY MASK THE WHISPER OF YOUR STILL SOFT VOICE. I BEG OF THEE TO LAY A CONVICTION OF RIGHTFUL FAME. YOU ARE THE TRUE AND RIGHT RECIPIENT OF PRAISE. I LESSEN MYSELF AND DESIRE TO GLORIFY YOU.
IN THE SAME WAY, I ASK THAT YOU LESSEN MY OWN DESIRE TO BE SATISFIED AND GREATEN THE PASSION I HAVE TO SERVE OTHERS. I INTERCEDE IN BEHALF OF ALL PEOPLE THAT I MIGHT BE AN IMAGE BEARER BY SIMPLY SERVING THEM. IN PARTICULAR, I PRAY THAT YOU SHOW ME THE FULL MEANING OF BIBLICAL MANHOOD AND HOW I MIGHT SERVE AND CARE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND, KARISA. I PRAY THAT SHE GRASPS THE WHOLE AMOUNT OF LOVE YOU HAVE FOR HER AND THAT URGES HER TO DO REMARKABLE THINGS IN YOUR BEHALF.
FINALLY, WHILST SITTING IN THIS EMPTY, BLACKENED, AND SILENT ROOM, I HOPE THAT YOUR GLORIOUSLY SOFT WHISPER RESOUNDS IN MY EAR. I KNOW YOU ARE HOLY AND I AM AWARE OF YOUR GOODNESS. I PRAY THAT YOUR RESPONSE TO MY PRAYER ECHOES THROUGHOUT MY HEART AND, IN TURN, SPILLS OUT TO MY LIFE. I KNEEL DOWN BEFORE YOU AND WAIT PATIENTLY FOR YOUR VOICE TO MOVE. THANK YOU FOR BEING THE ONE, TRUE GOD ABOVE EVERY GOD. YOU ARE THE EVER-SO-MIGHTY KING THAT I AM SO EAGER TO SERVE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
